There will always be a time where things need to be tested. It makes sense really, when we get new things, such as a camera or phone, we play with it, check out all the cool stuff it can do, we're excited and just happy to have it. Then its time to see what it can really do and start testing it. Although horses are far from technology, the same rule can somewhat be used here. Our first ride was fun and exciting, and not much went down at all. Our second was checking out what we could do still, and then today our ride was somewhat testing. More so from my point of view, seeing just how much I could throw at my obese, unfit mare and also myself really.Of course comfort zones are something humans like to stay in, and especially me. If there was a club that you could join for people who don't like to leave what they feel safe in, I'd be a life long member! For crying out loud, I've always wanted to just PLOD down a beach, but my fear for big spaces keeps me in my paddock, and even in a riding area (albeit bigger than my previous one, so I am getting better). Of course little by little I challenge this, but I'm generally the type of person who if scared, I will retreat back. Its something I really need to work on, and I'll get there, just within my own steps. Since breaking my leg, its obvious I've become more nervous, and have always thought "uh oh, what if you come off again and break something else?!" It wasn't my first break, but the biggest break and the hardest to recover from, so rationally some of it would be normal fear. I was worried my balance would let me down with the smallest of slip ups, and I'd hit the turf easily. I guess this first week of riding is really going to broaden my outlook on things as we keep rediscovering ourselves.
The ride started out better than it had on the 7th, although I could tell Honey was a little too eager from having the day previously off. She proved this by trying to trot half way into our first round of the riding area, and was sadly disappointed when I told her no. I waited until she was settled into both reins well before asking and of course, I got a no in return by her kicking out her leg. Needless to say, it was amusing to see her personality under saddle back. She didn't resist after that little remark and trotted off, all too eagerly again. I had new stirrup leathers, and down a hole or two than usual, which felt bloody good in the walk, not so much in the trot. I was trying to post but felt the push to come out of the saddle much greater in the beginning, although I got there in the end! I'm thinking it might be just something I'll need to adjust to, rather than bring my length back up and looking bunched up. It helped my leg tremendously too, I didn't feel like the feeling in my leg went numb for a change haha!
After our trots on both reins, I went back to the walk and worked through that, focusing more so on myself, and once I had myself in place it seemed to help Honey get in hers really well. I always have a tendency to ride with my hands low and turned in rather than thumbs on top and it irks me with how "difficult" it seems to be to achieve the consistency with my hands, and so I worked really hard on fixing that today. Thankfully, it's shown up in photos that I actually did. It was great to see that once I stopped breaking the line from bit to elbow, Honey began to offer more of herself, to the point that she'd go to step under herself and slip a little because shes a bit too heavy to carry herself as well as she'd like! Never the less we were both trying really hard to achieve what we were doing and there were some LOVELY moments today where everything just clicked. I really love them! Still need to work on getting more activity into it, the one thing I find with Honey is she'll offer her to soften but she doesn't maintain her tempo and almost takes littler steps. I kept niggling with my outside leg to maintain it for her and we'd get spurts of active walking then she'd go "oh right I'm doing this with my head" and slacken off. Almost like she can't multitask, but bless her, she's trying... and we'll get it correctly and not her just softening at the mouth soon I'm sure!
Like I suggested in the previous blog, I brought a pole into the situation today. Of course with my Dad showing up, she was pretty amped up at the random man walking across to her, and oogled him more than she ought to have, and so her attention span was ridiculous by this stage, she was too busy looking at the 4yr old child that comes out on most visits, then my Dad, and then this weird pole in the middle. She didn't do anything stupid, but it did take awhile for me to regain her attention, namely with walk-halt transitions, and a bit of nagging from my inside leg saying "hey, weren't we relaxed and schooling before?!" But she didn't see the pole as a big deal, and almost went to jump it on the third time over it, which would have been totally laughable on my behalf. Thankfully she didn't though!
After another trot we cooled down and it came time for my test for the day. It was purely my fault it happened, I dropped the reins, and Honey was just cruising as she does, and so I let go of the reins all together and just enjoyed the freedom of feeling safe on my horse, happy to be back up in the saddle, and Honey saw the child clapping and went "trot time? OKAYYYY!" Well she went to stride off, and I snapped my reins up (not tight, just grabbed them). Stupid mistake on my behalf. Like I said to my friend Beka who wants to come out and ride Honey sometime, she's cool stuff, but if you reel her in or make a sudden grab at her head, she becomes cool stuff, either in the air, or with speed. She's never nasty about it, but my fright to her made her go "HOLY CRAP!" and shoot off. It's a good thing I didn't panic further than the rein snatching and just said "woah no" and Honey stopped immediately. I'd dropped her in the deep end and she reacted just like she has whenever someone else in the past has since the accident. Luckily for me, she doesn't wanna end up back on more paddock rest, and she was pretty certain she wanted to stop too. Of course this made her all jumpy underneath me, and so I had to cool her down again. I hadn't realised the child had clapped the first time, until she did it again, and Honey leapt up in the air in fright. I managed to get her calm, to the point she was back onto thinking about just me and ended on this little note....
So I was pretty darn stoked that when I hopped off, I hadn't gotten off because I was scared. I hadn't panicked and given Honey something further to over think, and supported her whilst she calmed down. I think handling this situation, albeit something small, but something still big enough to unsettle the "old" me, shows that I've found the strength and determination to get on with things. It shows that I have found the drive that's fueling me to continue this for myself. I guess in reality, I'm damn over hearing "why do you have horses if you don't ride them anymore?" from people too.
I'm finally riding for me, and boy does it feel good!
Well that's this blog finished, you poor souls if you made it to the end here. I'm just after comments on whether the stirrup length I've currently got going looks better than before. If anyone could comment on that (here or facebook) that would be grand. And to end this, I'm just gonna to post a couple of my favourite pictures from today's ride. Hope your first week of 2011 has been good everyone, mine certainly has been!
Chelle x
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